


Icy Streams

by wouldratherbeaunicorn



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Blue Hair, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 16:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14980937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldratherbeaunicorn/pseuds/wouldratherbeaunicorn
Summary: And I walked off you.And I walked off an old me.(or: Zoe Murphy dyes her hair, and regrets it.)





	Icy Streams

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Alaska, by Maggie Rogers, because I apparently don’t listen to anything else :)

It was just one of those things.

An ‘Evan and Zoe’ thing. Because everything they _did_ was an ‘Evan and Zoe’ thing.

Zoe was fully aware that they were becoming “that couple”. Honestly, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She couldn’t find it in herself to do much of anything, for months after Connor died. Even dying her hair didn’t make the list, and her hair was _never_ just natural. But Zoe just didn’t have the time.

Every day was filled with hating her brother, and then missing her brother, and it was so exhausting. So, she didn’t dye her hair. It had started to grow dark brown, like Connor’s.

It was funny. Her hair was always light brown, except for a couple years when she was a toddler, when it was blonde. But now, it was dark, and it was starting to get _curly_ , and Zoe was having to relearn how to do her hair all over again.

Her father would stare at her sometimes, and she knew it was because her and Connor’s similarities were coming out. Finally revealing themselves, after years of Zoe swearing that one of them must’ve been adopted.

The comment came from Evan, while they were sitting in the living room, watching a movie. He’d been playing with her hair, when he finally spoke up.

“Why don’t you dye your hair anymore?”

She tore her eyes away from Andy Dwyer’s current mishap, and stared at her boyfriend. She really didn’t have an answer for him. So she made one up. “I guess it was just… time to grow up.”

Evan sighed. “I don’t think you should grow up completely. Not yet.”

And then Zoe laughed a bit, pausing the show. “What? Should I dye my hair again?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

And that was how they found themselves in a hair salon a week later, Evan spinning around in an unoccupied chair and Zoe staring at the icy blue tinges at the end of her hair.

“Do you like it?” Evan asked.

Zoe nodded, running her fingers through it. “Okay. Your turn.”

They switched places, and Evan fidgeted with the cape, staring intently at everything the hairdresser was doing. In the end, he had a tiny little wave of light blue in his hair, the same color as Zoe’s. They really were “that couple”.

 _He’s like a child,_ she mused, watching him mess with the lock of hair all the way home.

“Do you like it?” Zoe asked in his driveway, after kissing him goodbye.

Evan grinned like a dork, nodding. “It’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

She hoped it wouldn’t ever fade.

 

..........

 

She missed Evan. She missed his dumb smile, and his fidgety hands, and the small lock of hair.

She hated Evan.

Evan screwed over her family, her brother, her _life_. God, he fucked up her life. Because no matter how much she hated him, she couldn’t help but be consumed with the feeling of missing him.

And it didn’t help that she still had remnants of him all over. Pictures of camping trips, and Snapchat memories, and fucking love letters, and his polos were all over the floor of her closet, and even her goddamned _hair-_

It was taking forever to fade.

Every time she messed with it, there it was, seemingly brighter and bluer than ever. And so she went back to the salon and asked them to cut it off.

“All of it?” the young man asked. “Sweetie, do you wanna talk? Is it a bad breakup?”

Zoe shook her head, ignoring his requests. “Just till there’s no more blue.”

Her hair came to right above her shoulder, and Zoe stared at the sky-like locks of hair on the floor.

No one at school recognized her automatically. And if they did, they didn’t say anything. She was still pretty low on the popularity totem pole, ever since Connor’s note was released.

Her friends said they liked it. Her teachers said they liked it. Alana found her in the hall, and said she looked “very grown up.” Zoe shoved past her.

And then, right before the last class of the day, she ran into him. Technically, she was nowhere near him. Technically, she was across the hall, and his locker was right by the class she needed to go into. But this was as close to him as she’d been since that night. Evan, who still had the little lock of blue.

He just stared at her for a solid thirty seconds. Zoe couldn’t even meet his eyes for long without wanting to cry. But she saw enough. She saw his hand immediately go to his hair, finding the strand. She saw his eyes start to water, and he looked like he was struggling to breathe.

And she felt some perverse sense of happiness, knowing that she’d hurt him. She gathered up the strength to walk past him, and he graciously ignored her, turning back into his locker.

She got a chance to return the favor, though. Evan Hansen’s head was shaved the next day.

And Zoe got to experience the lung-burning, eye-watering feeling that she knew he’d felt the day before.

And she graciously ignored him.

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to Fiona, who listened to this dumb idea and then said “I would read the shit out of that”


End file.
